Interesting bits from my lecture notes:
The melting pot is a myth.
Romantic love (passion) is a basic drive, rather than emotional. Real, emotional love doesn't finish growing until after two years (when the lust drops off precipitously). "We do not fall in love, we climb there."
- Commitment and Intimacy increase over time. Passion drops off after about 2 years.
Men are more visual, women are more susceptible to scent.
Getting dumped sets off all the same reactions as falling in love, except instead of feeling wonderful, you feel horrible. It is not to be laughed at or shrugged off, and is very serious. When you get dumped, you love even harder. Absolutely do not minimize it.
Depression can be an opportunity for insight and personal growth. (True from personal experience.)
- We grow most, find our strengths, through loss and suffering.
According to John Gottman, successful relationships must have:
1. Respectful perception
2. Constant communication
3. Unfailing commitment (ie you cheat once and the relationship is forever damaged)
4. Complete trust
Anyone has the capacity for evil if the situation is powerful enough, but situational power can also be positive.
Cognitive dissonance is the Engine of Self-Justification - "lying to yourself and fully believing it."
- When people behave in a way that they are likely to see as stupid, immoral or erroneous, they change their attitudes so as to believe their behaviour is sensible and justified.
The By-stander effect, is the diffusion of responsibility among a group of people. Since others know of the emergency (and are probably more qualified to deal with it), one's own obligation is lessened. This leads to situations like 30+ witnesses from an apartment building to a rape taking place outside, and no one doing anything to help. (True story.) The smaller the number of people involved, the more likely someone will take action to help.
"The world is filled with good and evil. The barrier between is very nebulous. It is possible for angels to become devils and devils to become angels." - It's all about the situation.
Evil, according to Zimbardo, is "knowing better, but doing worse."
Heroism, according to Zimbardo, focuses on what is right about human nature. Heroic stories serve as powerful reminders that people are capable of resisting evil, rising above mediocrity, and heeding the call to action when others fail to act.